Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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