Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
