who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
