worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just gift wrapped bread.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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