i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
