I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
