their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
