and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
