SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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