So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize