there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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