gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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