If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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