i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
