we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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