Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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