Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
