Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
