I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
