Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
