grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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