Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
