Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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