what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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