i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
