My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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