3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
