her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
