'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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