Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
