i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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