Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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