Already got asked if we're dating
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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