sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do vagina's smell?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
