no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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