Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
