I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize