I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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