why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wish i was in the wii world.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
