I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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