the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
