we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
