ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
