no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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