I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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