wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
