: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My dick has a subreddit
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
