Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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