he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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