How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
