I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
