you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
