I'm drive I can fine osifer
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Blow job season was short but glorious.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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