You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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