Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
