Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Randomize
