Just fell off a train. Bad.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
