K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
