Having a random hookup so left but love u
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize