Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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