You can't motorboat a personality
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
