she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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