Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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