i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think I died a long time ago.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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