Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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