Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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