He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
