i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
