I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
